Cell Phone Personality Types:By Darnell Wright

Now, they say (Who ever the Fuck “They” are?) That you can judge a person by the clothes that he/she wears or how a person’s home is kept up. Well Darnell Wright has figured out another way you can judge a person, by their Cell Phone Carrier! That’s right people; take a ride with me as I explain having what Cell Phone Carrier tells you about your personality.

Verizon Cell Phone Carriers: are usually the “Boojie” people. Yup, they are uppity, travel, and love fancy things. They love shopping, hanging with “important” people, and vacations frequently. Verizon carriers don’t really do the “Club” scene like that; they really would rather do a lounge with a couple of friends. BUT, they have shitty attitudes and swear to the high heavens they are better than everyone else. (Have you ever tried to blame a Verizon Carrier that the call dropped because of them? They all defend Verizon like they have stock in the company. I believe it’s in the 2 year contract that they signed.) Drink Of Choice: Apple or Strawberry Martini (Shaken Not Stirred) and Wine. Where You’ll Find Them: Lounge, Wine Tasting Party, or on an Island because even to them “They Still Got Service”.

T-Mobile Cell Phone Carriers: are usually the people “Outgoing yet Layback” people. They’re all about enjoying life. They usually LOVE Sex but they are more into relationships than the occasional Fucking around. They are about families, friends, and meeting new people. Catering friendly house parties are what they are about. BUT They are a little on the Crazy side. They tend to be possessive which causes them to have bad attitudes from time to time. (Before the T-Mobile Drink, I Darnell Wright have to say, if you’re over the age of 23 and you still have a Sidekick, Kick Yo Self In Da Face!) Now, Drink Of Choice: Rum, Nuvo, Ciroc, anything to get in the “Mood”. Where You’ll Find Them: Home, Cook Outs, or Chilling taking it easy with Family and Friends.

AT&T/Cingular Cell Phone Carriers: are usually the “Business” people. They about that Paper! They’re motto is Work Now, Sleep When I’m Dead! AT&T Carrier is on the phone making sure that “Deal” gets done. They dress well, shop well, drive well, and Gaa Damn It, live very well! They’re not really the hanging out type, and if they do it’s just small fancy restaurant for two with a “Friend”. BUT, They’re horrible dates. They spend most of the time worrying about work and they are self absorbed. Because of their work they forget how to treat their significant other. Drink Of Choice: Champagne, Vodka & Cranberry, Usually Goose or Jewel of Russia Classic (That’s right step you’re Vodka Game Up Bitches). Where You’ll Find Them: Fancy Restaurants, Cocktail Parties, and Invite ONLY Parties that “Regular Folk” aren’t invited to.

Sprint/Nextel/Boost Cell Phone Carriers: are the “Party” people. Fuck what you heard they get down Mon-Sun. They’re motto is Play now Work…Ehh Not That Important. They get money, but it’s usually from hustling and odd jobs. They just wanna have fun and want everyone around them to have fun. They usually in the Club one hand in the air the other with a drink in the hand spilling the shit on a Verizon Carrier because “They Ain’t Gon Do Shit” LOL. And They don’t bullshit on the drinking they gets it in! BUT they miss out on shit because of shitty Service! They procrastinate and are never on time. Sometimes come off as downright Lazy. Drink Of Choice: Henny, Remy, 151, anything hard that’s going to get them Fucked Up! Where You’ll Find Them: Club couch acting a fool, Bars, Playing Spades, and any Vacation spot that’s has a party atmosphere Vegas, Memorial Day in Cancun or Miami.

There you have it people, Darnell’s list on Cell Phone Carriers. For all other services…Sorry! See you guys on the next writing (gotta say that because you’re probably reading this on MySpace or Facebook, and I don’t have the time to say Note or Blog). Word of advice...I'M A COMEDIAN NOT PSYCHIC SO DON'T TAKE ME SERIOUS!





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